Seriously though, can we stop waiting until we’ve won to post? There’s a big difference in how I see a journey after I’ve arrived, versus while I’m in the trenches and both perspectives have value.
As an enneagram three, I have a tendency to want to wait until my efforts have been successful to share what I have worked on. The problem is, that’s what everyone else seems to want to do too. When I only see people only sharing from the view of the win it becomes so easy to feel like everyone else is doing better.
On the rare occasions that I do see someone open enough to share the actual process (you know, like when things could still flop) it’s an immediate yes – literal goals. I want to be secure enough in who I am and what I’m doing that the fear of what people will think doesn’t even exist.
I recently posted an article about coming off as judgemental when I try to help loved ones who are struggling with depression or other mental health conditions. I felt moved to write it all out, but almost didn’t publish it for a couple of reasons:
- It felt vulnerable and didn’t exactly position me in the best light as this is something that I am currently struggling with.
- It’s not a solution or an answer really. It may not guide someone to exactly what to do or even be helpful as it is just an account of the challenges I have faced surrounding the topic and where I currently am at.
BUT I think the process is a major part that is often left out. It can be so easy to compare ourselves to others and feel like we aren’t doing enough when people only post the wins. They only post the journey as a part of how they won. Rarely do I see someone actually just sharing about the process.
If more of us shared where we were at – before we knew for sure that the win was in the bag – I think more people would relate and more genuine connections could be made. I enjoy seeing that level of openness from others. I think it takes a lot of strength and security in who you are to be that transparent.
Removing the filters and moving away from the “highlight reel” version of life to presenting in more of a “highlight REAL” manner is something I have been working on for a while and let me tell you – it’s a lot easier said than done. (All about the baby steps! lol)
Erin J. Mullen 